a brief explanation: as i write this, it’s tuesday, 22 Oct, 2013. yesterday was the tenth anniversary of elliott smith’s death. as those of you who read regularly may or may not know, elliott smith is a favorite songwriter of mine and so i predicted i would be in a fairly glum mood all day, which wasn’t entirely the case. i had been considering working up some sort of sad ‘what does it all mean and i’m sad because i feel old and blah blah blah...’ sort of post to commemorate the day, but it seemed like too much of a downer and i mostly just wanted to share with everyone the songs that i like to play in the car or on youtube to embarrass my little sister in front of her friends (you know, because she’s ashamed of how terminally uncool her older brother is). and hoped perhaps it would foment some discussion. maybe we could all talk about songs that we know, in the part of our brain that cares about such things, just shouldn’t be loved or spoken of without irony, but that are impossible to love ironically. some of these songs are stupid. you probably won’t like all of them. you might, in fact, hate most of them, as i’m sure most sane and level-headed people do. but these are some songs that i adore, and i don’t care how uncool that makes me.
eddie murphy – party all the time.
remember when eddie murphy was cool? when coming to america was the funniest movie of 1988? back when, had google existed, you looked up rick james and only got pictures of rick james because no one knew who dave chappelle was? this song is like that all the time. in fact, as long as this song is playing, it is that time, all the time. so play it loud and pretend eddie murphy’s made a movie worth watching since ‘bowfinger.’
sir mix-a-lot – put ‘em on the glass.
everyone knows about ‘baby’s got back.’ there’s even a shitty metalcore version of ‘baby got back,’ that i won’t link here, because it’s seriously terrible. i don’t even remember what band did it, so i can’t tell you to google it on yr own time and see how truly awful it is. this is a less known, superior song from his follow up to ‘mack daddy,’ ‘chief boot knocka.’
biz markie – just a friend.
this is one of those hip-hop songs that all white people everywhere seem to know. the only song i can think of with a similar level of ubiquity is the theme song from ‘fresh prince of bel air,’ but that’s more like one of those songs that everyone who was born before 1990 knows the words to, regardless of race (my mom included). this is from that golden era of hip-hop around the late-80’s and early-90’s where the really great stuff usually had a goofy fun element to it, back before death row and bad boy made it so that all rappers had to look either really rich or potentially violent, if not both.
notorious BIG ft. mase and puff daddy – mo’ money, mo’ problems.
speaking of bad boy records, growing up i always preferred death row and wu-tang immensely to bad boy. the bad boy records crew always seemed soft, with the exception of biggie. like, if you invited dre and snoop to yr party, you’d probably get really stoned, drink a lot of tanqueray and maybe raw dog some randoms. if you invited wu-tang to yr party, you might end up smoking some crack, but that’s a different story altogether. it always seemed like if you invited bad boy to yr party, especially after biggie died, it would be kinda like the garden party on the first episode of the boondocks, but with less white people. you know: fancy cheese, wine, a buncha dudes wearing gucci shades. that’s not a hip-hop party. unless puffy brings his speedboat. then they can come. remember, too, this was back before DMX and the ruff ryder crew came on the scene and made everyone look weak. i probably wouldn’t invite DMX to my party, because i don’t like dogfighting.
anyway. even though i always thought the bad boy records crew were a bunch of pussies, this song has a pretty awesome hook. and for mid-late-90’s hip-hop, that’s pretty exceptional.
electric light orchestra – telephone line.
i get shit from friends and acquaintances all the time for being totally into ELO. this song’s not as interestingly written as something like ‘mr blue sky’ or ‘strange magic,’ and it was featured in ‘billy madison,’ an early adam sandler movie. so it’s got, i dunno, like, a million cool points already demerited. but when that chorus kicks in with the multi-tracked phased vocals that bands used to spend weeks of time tracking instead of just having a computer simulate them the way shitty pop groups like fun. do all the time now, you just can’t help but smile. same goes for queen. i’d probably be into more bands that did complex vocal arrangements if i knew they were actually doing it with real voices instead of protools and antares. fuck autotune.
while we’re on the subject, i don’t care how stupid either one is, i still laugh my ass off at both ‘billy madison’ and ‘happy gilmore,’ the movie where adam sandler plays a failed hockey player on the PGA tour and carl weathers pretends to have one hand.
the cars – drive.
i love the cars. this is another band, kinda like ELO, where, if they didn’t sound so obviously dated, they would probably be cooler. the tones and recording methods utilised on their albums sound so quintessentially ‘eighties,’ especially on their later albums (because really, if you get right down to it, their self-titled album is just a pretty perfectly recorded power-pop LP), that it can be a turn-off. especially to listeners raised mostly on punk and heavier music, like i was. what works to their advantage is that ric ocasek is a phenomenal songwriter and arranger, and the band’s composed of amazing musicians.
duran duran – hungry like the wolf.
as a young MTV-viewer, i probably saw this music video at least a hundred times before i was even in kindergarten. i’ve always wanted to get a big band together to do a lounge version of this song, but that seems like a lot of work just to record one song that would be mostly just a novelty for my own enjoyment. this video was cool because it was duran duran looking like normal dudes instead of like pirates or whatever the fuck that new romantic shit was they were doing early on. i almost put that song ‘ordinary world,’ from their mid-90’s self-titled one (the wedding album), but hearing it always gives me bad flashbacks to the galleria at sunset mall c. 1996. and, let’s be honest, this song is so much better in all ways.
bruce springsteen – dancing in the dark.
80’s-era springsteen is much maligned among even springsteen fans, and with good reason: most of it sucks. but this song’s pretty good. the synth part almost pushes it into 80’s mall-pop-schlock, but the lyrics are as good as any of the lyrics on his ’82 masterpiece ‘nebraska,’ and the chorus is so goddamn catchy. this and that track ‘i’m on fire’ are probably the only good songs springsteen did from like 1984 until sometime in the mid-90’s, but this one goes on the list because the lyrics for ‘i’m on fire’ read a little too rape-y.
blackstreet – no diggity.
as i get older, i find myself going back to the hip-hop and r&b stuff that i hated in the late-90’s because i was pretty strictly a rocker kid, and really enjoying a lot of it. like, if i’m at a bad dance club (which only happens like maybe once a year for me) and they start playing stuff that was on top 40 radio when i was in 5th grade or thereabouts, i get so happy. and i surprise myself when i end up knowing all the words to a bunch of songs i hated close-to-two decades ago. this is one of those songs.
billy ocean – get out of my dreams, get into my car.
this may well be the best song about hookers ever written. just listen to that key change in the last chorus. the stones didn’t pull off anything that harmonically accomplished in ‘honky tonk women.’ shit, that was just a re-write of a tossed off country song from the last album they credited bryan jones on, despite his not playing on more than one or two songs. ok, maybe second best song about hookers behind, like, every other stooges song ever. still a good one.
iggy pop and kate pierson – candy.
now, i know. iggy pop is awesome. he was in the fucking stooges for fuck’s sake. david bowie and lou reed both stole considerable elements of their respective stage personae in the 70’s from iggy. basically anything that any moderately talented frontman with even an ounce of stage presence does in performance was probably ripped off from iggy (or roger daltrey, but fuck that guy). but listen to this song. it’s like that tom waits song that rod stewart ruined, except sung by someone who can’t really sing (kinda like tom waits, harhar). but just wait for that chorus. it’s like all the good things about late-80’s pop-rock in one song: kate pierson; don was production (not going to link it here, but was not was’ lone hit single, ‘walk the dinosaur,’ is pretty classic novelty stuff); palm muted guitars on the verse bursting into a soaring melodic chorus (and people try to credit the pixies with inventing that). this is one of those songs that i listened to probably fifty times in a row the first time i heard it.
that feels like enough potential embarassment. but how about everyone else? are there genres of music or specific songs that you know, in the much cooler parts of yr brain that you hope are on display to most of the world most of the time, you really shouldn’t like as much you actually do?
*
p.s. Hey. Today, music maker, writer, myriad constructor, and d.l. Rewritedept puts his dignity on the line for you, and maybe that behooves you to cop to some secret, questionable music-oriented gravitational pull and name naming of your own, I don't know? Up to you, as always. In any case, thank you in advance for your attention and for any comments that result, and thanks and hugs to our brave guest-host. ** David Ehrenstein, Hi, D. Cool picks. You are an old fashioned porn boy. I'll see what I can do to get our porn, if it happens, struck in a 16mm print. ** Zach, Hey, man! It's awfully nice to see you! You good these days, despite or because of these days being but realizations? I love your Nijmegen story a lot, probably no surprise. There's an amusement park in Nijmegen? Wow, I have to look into that. Yeah, thanks for being here, and fill me in on you of late, if you don't mind. ** Boxofmirrors, Hey! Wow! It's been ... I can't even believe how long since I've had the pleasure. It's so awesome to see you, and to know that you're still sparing this place your time. Weird that this place is still happening, no? Weird to me anyway. I've always wanted to go to Alton Towers badly. Yeah, I took a tour of Scandinavian theme parks a while back, and there's a related book in the pipe. My faves among them were Bon Bon Land, which is incredible, and Kongenparken, ditto. Must visits if you're ever up that way. Novel goes well, yeah, and maybe just maybe the porn film will finally get realized. I should know soon. So, yeah, how are you? Catch me up, if you have the time and feel like it. All the super best to you, sir! ** Steevee, I was glad to see that your evil toe's evil turned out to be a relatively minor thing. So, you're stuck at home for a few days? ** Creative Massacre, Oh, wow, of course, about the coffin. I wasn't thinking. I don't know where my brain was. I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me see the 'before and after' pix. It really makes a difference, doesn't it? Strange. Thanks, M! ** Keaton, Hey. Dude, you only said that about Blanchot's fiction to rile me up, right? Holy shit, what a thing to say. 'Death Sentence' is my all-time favorite novel, I'll have you know. Goodness gracious, sir. Anyway, yeah, there's no right or wrong when it comes to brain food. Mine likes its thinking aloud with a heavy French slant is all. With me, I don't look like I'm confused but I am. We're like the opposite of twinsies. Ghost stories, oh, okay, sounds good. ** Rewritedept, Dude, thank you a ton for today. It's fun, and you're a brave man. I was mostly with you except for the Eddie Murphy song which I can not make any kind of case for in any way, shape, or form, and Duran Duran, who always make my previous meal reenter my throat, but that's some kind of memory based reaction or something. And that's showbiz. My teen pals and I used an opaque and an overhead projector in our light shows. And a super8 projector. Nice combo. Very big luck with the move and all of that. ** _Black_Acrylic, I guess that was me making a blog post from theme park heaven. Greetings, mortal. Wish I could be there on Saturday, but I'll await evidence. So exciting about your youtube project. I'm so curious about that. The experimental video event looked like smart fun, for sure. Nice pix. I like the way you point and orient a camera, B. Oh, no problem, no sweat, no anything re: the goody bag. I'm just grateful and am your humble whenever recipient. ** Paul Curran, Hi, Paul! That sounds really, really beautiful. I mean: 'writing the whole thing out as a series of single images, the narrator describing these composite visual-only distillations, one per scene, in present simple and continuous without dialogue, like a silent Technicolor movie, or a stack of photos or paintings with just some minor movement or other senses that I'll apply later, like the point where a gif sticks before replaying, so you get an overlay of text and subtext that's directly accessible through simple prose.' That sounds incredible! Very excited over here! Oh, thank you a lot about the DC/Anderson texts. Well, for the Scandinavia theme park book that I'm doing with Zac, I'm doing cut-ups and heavy rewrites of Anderson fairytales to reorient them into a theme park context and, specifically, into the parks we had visited and that we are using as the material for the book. Those were two paragraphs from one of the Scandinavia book texts. And I like doing that enough and am happy enough about what's turning out that I decided to do a similar kind of thing within my novel, which I think is working out really well, fingers crossed. It's a bit like the experiments for 'Closer', but much, much more successful for whatever reason, probably because I'm a better or more confident writer now. Anyway, I'm so happy that they intrigued you, P. ** Grant maierhofer, Hi, G. Things are great here, thank you. A lot of clouds and fair amount of rain here, but no soundtrack. I should try that. Man, I haven't creased Crass's oeuvre in a long time. Cool. I'm actually heading off to what I think is Foucault's birthplace, Poitiers, on Sunday to do some performances. That Artaud story is fascinating. Maybe I'll pick up that Miller book. Being confused between writing projects is the best way to be, if you ask me. Confusion is, like, the best palate cleanser ever maybe. So, that sounds good, actually. Best from me to you too, man. ** Misanthrope, Yeah, just sad and nothing but about Pretty Boy. Your multiple use of the word 'little' was moving. Interesting. And moving. Well, I thought maybe the Imagine Dragons CD contained clues as to the stalker guy's motivation, so I was listening and looking for secret, coded messages, and I found none that wouldn't require a conspiracy theory to believe in. Sleep is good. ** Chris Dankland, Hi, Chris! Oh, man, I'm going to finish answering that interview this week. I'm so sorry. It's been so crazy, and I've been so not in one place, i.e. here at my computer, for long enough to think/type appropriately. But I will. Sorry. The trip was amazing, yeah, thanks. I love those eurolockers. I think they were my favorite things at the expo. I want them. I want a reason to have them and a place to put them. Mm, I think due to my ongoing and never diminishing love of theme park, I don't have age-spcific associations or memories attached to them. I think I've always loved them to the same high degree, so I'm always a wide-open minded and -hearted partaker or something. That's too bad that Nightmare on the Bayou wasn't genius. Based on the promo materials and hype, it seemed like it could be genius-y, but it's the rare haunted house that fully satisfies in all in all of its parts and details. Super rare. I'm glad you went. I'm glad it fulfilled your basic haunted house-oriented needs in bits and pieces at least. Exciting about your interviews. I'll read them today. Thanks! Everyone, the mighty Chris Dankland has interviewed the very interesting Gene Morgan and Bianca Shipton over on his crucial Neato Mosquito site, and I implore you to do the right thing for yourselves by going over there today and reading said interviews, won't you? I want to see the Shrader film on Mishima, always have. Um, yeah, I was pretty into Mishima for a while a long time ago. I even read his big trilogy. I haven't read him in really a long time, though. Are you reading him now? If so, what? ** Bill Porter, Hi, Bill. Yeah, roller coasters, sure, totally. I rode a slew on my last trip. Wooden ones are special and hard to get amazing, but, when they're aced, they kind of totally rule. But I do like getting fucked up by the twisty metal ones. Has George Saunders gone soft? Actually, I think I've only read maybe three isolated stories by him. They were cool. I saw him do a reading once. He was genial. Of course it would be super to get to share in your new piece, man. Say the word, name the way. ** Sypha, No, I can't remember slogging at any points in 'IJ', but I'm weird, like I said, and I'm so in awe of his sentences that they can pretty much take me anywhere or even nowhere. ** Pretty Addicted, Dom! Hey! You have a new screen name! How are you doing, man? Good, so good that things are continuing to go well with you. I'm so happy to hear that. Paris at the New Year? Let me know if you do. I think I'll actually be here for that, and it would be really great to see you. Your "The Children of Cain" scrapbook is fucking gorgeous. I'm seriously humbled. Man, nice work. I only just glanced, but they look like they request a very close study, and I will be the grateful enacter of that request later today. Everyone, the awesome writer and d.l. and everything else Dom Lyne is making an online novel project-related scrapbook that is really, really fantastic and something to really see. It's here, and do go take a careful look. Awesome! Love and hugs back to you, man. ** Bill, Thanks, re: the scrapbook. Ooh, great, a brief reconstruction. I'm so completely all over that in about three minutes. Thank you! Everyone, go here and watch a short Vimeo-based reconstruction of a recent work/gig by the very great Bill Hsu. Yes, of course, I would nothing but hugely honored if you want to use that 'Them' text. Thank you so much! ** Bollo, Hi, J. Great about the group show. Curious to hear what Martin Creed does, hunh. Top of the late morning to you, man! ** Randomwater, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at Disneyland is one of the true, rare wonders of the world. An absolutely perfect thing. You must go. You quit the HoP job? Wow, but that's good, and now Luke's there, wow, that's good too, I imagine. For Halloween, I sat on a 10 hour jet flight and then napped and then stared wearily into space until bedtime. Kind of spooky, but in the wrong way. ** Okay. Be with Rewritedept's taste today, and spare some of your own, if you will. Bye. See you tomorrow.